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Today was horrible! I am still in shock. I took forever at my locker and I was late and just as I was walking out of the school the asshole teacher grabbed my arm and dragged me into his classroom. He then locked the door on me and told me to suck him off. I started crying and pleading with him to not make me do it. Then he grabbed my hair and put a hand over my mouth while simulatenously pulling my ear towards his mouth and told me that if I didn't agree I would fail his class. I knew there wasn't a way out of this I nodded my head as best he could. Good girl he said as if I was some sort of dog. He sat down in his chair and told me to crawl over to him. I did it and then I unzipped his pants as he asked. Then he just shoved my head down onto his huge dick. I started to choke and then I bit down as hard as I could. He screamed and fell out of his chair. I grabbed the keys to the classroom and ran out of their as fast as I could. I was so scared. I went over to Collin's and sobbingly told him what had happened. He just hugged me and asked what he could do to help me. I told him not to tell anyone, that we would deal with this whatever way we could without involving the police. He finally said yes after much convincing. What am I going to do now though? I am so scared. I feel in some ways that it's my fault, like I led him on or something. .

Saturday

So I just got back from supper with Collin. I'm over at his house right now, he's taking a shower and I decided to spend the night. I told my mom I was at Erica's. I better make sure to delete this cookie before he sees my journal, that'd be so embarassing. I just needed to get out of my house. Mark's been calling lately and hopefully my parents won't pick up my phone line extension.
Dinner was yummy. I had the steak. F.Y.I. God, I don't want to go to school on Monday. Shit, I'm nervous. Collin can tell I'm keeping something from him and I don't want him to think it's Mark and totally hate me. Maybe I will tell him, or maybe if I just get through the rest of the year and not try to act like a weirdo around Collin, and totally avoid being alone with that teacher. Maybe I'm just overreacting this probably happens at like every school. Guys will be guys, I just wish they didn't have such a huge sex drive.
Can't wait till Collin gets out of the shower. He's so yummy and hot when he's all wet! I loved going swimming with him last summer. Every girl on the island just kept looking at his totally gorgeous body. Honestly, though who could blame them?
Shit, he just turned off the shower, I'll see ya later
~L~

_

So I have this teacher and I think he was molesting me today. I had to go in and make some corrections on my test and hee kept touching my leg. It was like my thigh too. Then he asked if I'd ever had sex before. I just kind of laughed it off. It was getting really akward. Then he took my hand as he was guiding me as to which problem was wrong he took his hand and settled it on his crotch. I kind of jumped and squeeked in surprise and he took it like he liked it and he started to unbutton my cardigan. I took his hand and kind of put it back on the table and told him that I'd better get going. I got up before he could say anything else and as he was leaving he got up and he took his hands and pushed my hips towards his crotch. He said,"I can give you what you want and I know what you want." I told him to stop and stepped on his foot with my super pointy shoes. Then I just went into a bathroom stall and cried. I was so confused. I haven't told anybody yet. Do you think I should? I am so scared right now. I wish I could tell Collin but I'm scared he'll end up kicking the teacher's ass. I'm ashamed to tell my friends cuz I don't want to be portrayed as a whore. It's not like I can tell my mom because she'll sue the fuck out of them and I'll forever be known as "the whore who fucked the teacher" same thing if I told my dad cuz that would be totally akward and he'd end up telling my mom. At least the weekend's here.
Collin and I are going out to dinner tomorrow. I don' t know if I feel like going anywhere right now though. I wish there was someone to talk to.

Hi

So Mommy and Daddy are finally home. Which I guess is nice but having the house to yourself is nice too. Collin and I have spent so much time together. I love it! Oh and then I bought a couple of skateboards off of the internet for him. I hope he likes them. Yep... um school's going good. I dont know what else to say. If you're horny and bored you can check out this:

http://members.diaryland.com/edit/view.phtml?user=wickedwife

I love you

Life is perfect right now.
Be thankful for everything you have, be content but never satisified.
Most of all have fun. Don't forget that someone out there loves you.

Before he wakes up...

Collin came home today. And my parents decided to stay on vacation for a few more days. I thought Collin would come home tomorrow so I was sleeping in my bed and in walks Collin (he has a spare key). It was so cute. He kissed me on the forehead and said he loved me. I scooted over and he took off his shoes and climbed in bed with me. I just kind of looked at him and broke down crying. It was like a mixture of sadness,happiness and relief. Now that Collin is back I know everything is going to turn out right. He kept asking me what was wrong and I seriously couldn't answer. He took me in his arms and just started stroking my hair and kissing it. Gradually I just started apologizing over and over and over again. He said it was okay. We just laid like that for a good hour and all we did was talk. It was amazing then we both fell asleep. I felt so safe. I hadn't felt that safe in such a long time. So then I woke up and now here I am updating this. Collin looks so adorable. His cute, hockey/Bam Margera hair hair over his eyes. He looks so cute! Just looking at him...it makes me wonder why I cheated on him. I can be such a total moron. I think he's dreaming about skateboarding. He keeps kind of pushing off with his leg and then turning it parallel with his other leg. I just feel like screaming and jumping on top of him and never, ever letting him go. I think that's what I'll go and do.
~l~

Faithfulness

So, Collin called today and I spilled everything. He seemed pretty upset but he wasn't mad at me I think he was just disappointed. I told him I'd cut off ties to Mark and I will. I want to start over new. I miss Collin so much. My world fucking falls apart when he isn't there. I want to make it up to him in whatever way I can. I promised I would. I will be totally faithful to him and only him. I even planned to buy us a trip to somewhere nice and relaxing so we could jus get away from the city for a few weeks. I'm not sure where though. I wish it was Tuesday so he would be back here again.
~l~

Mugged

Hello again, selfwhore L here again. I actually got on the laptop to use my online textbook thingee but I had to update this. I got fucking mugged today. God assholes populate the majority of this Earth I swear to god. I had quite a bit of cash in there and my centurion card so I chased after that motherfucker. I was tempted to wear my Jimmy Choo stillettos that day but I decided I'd wear the adorable Gallaz shoes that Josh had given me as a present. He said just looking at my heels while we were studying hurt him and we were joking around about it and the next time we had a tutor session he gave me these actually cute, totally comfy pair of skateboarding shoes. So, anyway I was chasing him downt the street yelling obsenities probably looking like a complete fucking moron when I started to gain on the asshole and he finally gave up and dropped my purse spilling my stuff everywhere. Oh well at least I got my stuff back minus a couple of cracked make up tubes and bottles. I doubt that will be the last time that happens.
Anyhoo today was nice. Mark called to say hello. We decided to go out for lunch since I have study hall and lunch right by eachother so we could take a while to eat and go someplace nice. Hopefully no one will see us togeher there. I could easily pass off as his daughter though.
I was looking at a Paris Hilton ad for Guess and I noticed that her legs are really small and people would probably notice that if she weren't topless.

Later

Hey

Going back to school was hard today but I did it anyways. Um nothing at school really happened, I made up my tutor session during my open hour study hall. I love Josh (the person I tutor) he is so adorable. He invited me to his skateboarding competition on Saturday so that should be fun. I love skateboarders they all have this awesome demeanor about them, they're so laid back and cool with everything I can't imagine a cooler group of people. Um, what else happened today? I picked up Halo 14 today and its uber awesome. Buy it you'll love it. Mom and Dad are coming home soon I miss them so to ease the pain I went shopping. Didn't really find anything I liked so I went home and made myself a bath, I hate when the nanny does it for me. She's really more for my Mom and Dad. I hate being waited on unless I'm personally paying for it. Then Erica came over while I was in the bath and we talked. I was using my parent's bathroom and there's two separate baths one for my mom and one for my dad so we were just there talking. Talking is my favorite past time, even more so than shopping. That's about all that happened, not much else to say.
~L~