I know I haven't updated for a little over a month, but I honestly forgot about this journal because of all of the shit that's been going on. I just found it on my old computer's bookmark.

So, here I am

A lot has happened in these few months. I no longer have to worry about my teacher because he caught wind that several girls were going to file a complaint and take him to court for sexual harassment, needless to say he quit. Good that stupid son of a bitch. I can't believe how horrible people can be in this world, I just hope he isn't in some other city doing what he did to me and the other girls on other helpless victims. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

Collin and I are still together. I'm so in love with him. I finally had sex with him. In a way it felt like I was actually losing my virginity. He has no idea how much he means to me.

Mark and I are very good friends now and I love being with him. In a total non-sexual sort of way. It's amazing just spending a day with him. So many people kiss his ass and bend over backwards for him. I really do care about him.
He's going to Paris for about two weeks this summer and has invited me to come with. I haven't agreed yet because I know that something will happen between us and I'm sick of lying to him. Maybe if Erica or Val or someone else came with me. I don't know yet, I have a while to decide.

My parents have been home more often probably because they feel bad for basically leaving me. It's really nice, I never really realized how much I missed them.

I promise I'll update later

L

-

Today was horrible! I am still in shock. I took forever at my locker and I was late and just as I was walking out of the school the asshole teacher grabbed my arm and dragged me into his classroom. He then locked the door on me and told me to suck him off. I started crying and pleading with him to not make me do it. Then he grabbed my hair and put a hand over my mouth while simulatenously pulling my ear towards his mouth and told me that if I didn't agree I would fail his class. I knew there wasn't a way out of this I nodded my head as best he could. Good girl he said as if I was some sort of dog. He sat down in his chair and told me to crawl over to him. I did it and then I unzipped his pants as he asked. Then he just shoved my head down onto his huge dick. I started to choke and then I bit down as hard as I could. He screamed and fell out of his chair. I grabbed the keys to the classroom and ran out of their as fast as I could. I was so scared. I went over to Collin's and sobbingly told him what had happened. He just hugged me and asked what he could do to help me. I told him not to tell anyone, that we would deal with this whatever way we could without involving the police. He finally said yes after much convincing. What am I going to do now though? I am so scared. I feel in some ways that it's my fault, like I led him on or something. .

Saturday

So I just got back from supper with Collin. I'm over at his house right now, he's taking a shower and I decided to spend the night. I told my mom I was at Erica's. I better make sure to delete this cookie before he sees my journal, that'd be so embarassing. I just needed to get out of my house. Mark's been calling lately and hopefully my parents won't pick up my phone line extension.
Dinner was yummy. I had the steak. F.Y.I. God, I don't want to go to school on Monday. Shit, I'm nervous. Collin can tell I'm keeping something from him and I don't want him to think it's Mark and totally hate me. Maybe I will tell him, or maybe if I just get through the rest of the year and not try to act like a weirdo around Collin, and totally avoid being alone with that teacher. Maybe I'm just overreacting this probably happens at like every school. Guys will be guys, I just wish they didn't have such a huge sex drive.
Can't wait till Collin gets out of the shower. He's so yummy and hot when he's all wet! I loved going swimming with him last summer. Every girl on the island just kept looking at his totally gorgeous body. Honestly, though who could blame them?
Shit, he just turned off the shower, I'll see ya later
~L~

_

So I have this teacher and I think he was molesting me today. I had to go in and make some corrections on my test and hee kept touching my leg. It was like my thigh too. Then he asked if I'd ever had sex before. I just kind of laughed it off. It was getting really akward. Then he took my hand as he was guiding me as to which problem was wrong he took his hand and settled it on his crotch. I kind of jumped and squeeked in surprise and he took it like he liked it and he started to unbutton my cardigan. I took his hand and kind of put it back on the table and told him that I'd better get going. I got up before he could say anything else and as he was leaving he got up and he took his hands and pushed my hips towards his crotch. He said,"I can give you what you want and I know what you want." I told him to stop and stepped on his foot with my super pointy shoes. Then I just went into a bathroom stall and cried. I was so confused. I haven't told anybody yet. Do you think I should? I am so scared right now. I wish I could tell Collin but I'm scared he'll end up kicking the teacher's ass. I'm ashamed to tell my friends cuz I don't want to be portrayed as a whore. It's not like I can tell my mom because she'll sue the fuck out of them and I'll forever be known as "the whore who fucked the teacher" same thing if I told my dad cuz that would be totally akward and he'd end up telling my mom. At least the weekend's here.
Collin and I are going out to dinner tomorrow. I don' t know if I feel like going anywhere right now though. I wish there was someone to talk to.

Hi

So Mommy and Daddy are finally home. Which I guess is nice but having the house to yourself is nice too. Collin and I have spent so much time together. I love it! Oh and then I bought a couple of skateboards off of the internet for him. I hope he likes them. Yep... um school's going good. I dont know what else to say. If you're horny and bored you can check out this:

http://members.diaryland.com/edit/view.phtml?user=wickedwife

I love you

Life is perfect right now.
Be thankful for everything you have, be content but never satisified.
Most of all have fun. Don't forget that someone out there loves you.

Before he wakes up...

Collin came home today. And my parents decided to stay on vacation for a few more days. I thought Collin would come home tomorrow so I was sleeping in my bed and in walks Collin (he has a spare key). It was so cute. He kissed me on the forehead and said he loved me. I scooted over and he took off his shoes and climbed in bed with me. I just kind of looked at him and broke down crying. It was like a mixture of sadness,happiness and relief. Now that Collin is back I know everything is going to turn out right. He kept asking me what was wrong and I seriously couldn't answer. He took me in his arms and just started stroking my hair and kissing it. Gradually I just started apologizing over and over and over again. He said it was okay. We just laid like that for a good hour and all we did was talk. It was amazing then we both fell asleep. I felt so safe. I hadn't felt that safe in such a long time. So then I woke up and now here I am updating this. Collin looks so adorable. His cute, hockey/Bam Margera hair hair over his eyes. He looks so cute! Just looking at him...it makes me wonder why I cheated on him. I can be such a total moron. I think he's dreaming about skateboarding. He keeps kind of pushing off with his leg and then turning it parallel with his other leg. I just feel like screaming and jumping on top of him and never, ever letting him go. I think that's what I'll go and do.
~l~